Patricia Gets Ready (for a Date With the Man Who Used to Hit Her) ~ [The White Bear] ~ Review

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Did you know that according to national statistics an estimated 2 million adults experienced domestic abuse in the UK last year alone? It’s a topic usually kept behind closed doors, out of sight out of mind, and nobody really seems to want to talk about it. Even in the twenty-first century, when we’re supposed to be more open to having difficult discussions about unsavoury topics, the ever prevalent subject of domestic abuse seems taboo, and the stigma and stereotyping surrounding this issue still rife. The main problem is in the name, these problems are domestic, and as a society we like to keep our private lives to ourselves, it seems bad manners to air our dirty laundry in front of others. This is perfect for abusers, who thrive on isolating their victims and do whatever they can to carefully remove friends, family, and all potential channels of support from those they’re abusing. Divide and conquer. Which means that last year the majority of those 2 million domestic abuse survivors were suffering alone and in silence. Plays like Patricia Gets Ready (for a Date With the Man That Used to Hit Her) can do so much to spread awareness of issues like this and are an important way of recalibrating the way people think about domestic abuse and those affected by it.

Patricia Gets Read (for a Date With the Man That Used to Hit Her) is a one woman show written by Martha Watson Allpress, directed by Kaleya Baxe, and starring Angelina Chudi. It focuses on one day in the life of a young woman named Patricia as she prepares for an evening out with her abusive ex boyfriend. She recounts the story of their relationship, from the day they met to the day she finally left him, and we experience the relationship through her eyes as we hear her inner most thoughts and feelings surrounding the turbulent affair. It’s a peek behind the curtain, an invitation to be a fly on the wall and try to understand the experience from someone who has lived it. It’s like spending the evening with a friend whilst they get some big feelings off their chest, but without the expectation to help so we have the opportunity to truly listen.

When I was a kid I remember watching one particular scene in an episode of Eastenders which has stuck with me for life for no other reason than how hugely powerful it was. The character Little Mo had been revisited by her ex husband, Trevor, who had abused her both mentally and physically for years before she finally left him. In this scene he’d tried to force his way back into her life but something in her snapped and she found the strength she’d never believed she had to stand up to him when he raised his fist to her. “Go on then, hit me!” she’d said, “I’ll hit you right back, and it may not be much of a fight but I’ll be one hell of a runner-up!” And even at such a young age I knew instinctively how much that would take, to look your bully in the eye and tell them ‘no more’, tell them ‘I’m worth more than this’. Watching Patricia Gets Ready brought back those feelings, that sense of pride and admiration that despite being dragged to hell and back by someone claiming to love her this woman somehow still dredged up the strength to hold her head high and stand defiant.

Patricia is a fantastic protagonist, both inspiring and flawed, complex and relatable. She’s not the stereotypical domestic abuse ‘victim’, no tiny frail middle-aged white woman trembling over an ironing board or apologising profusely whilst huddled over a kitchen stove. Patricia is real, Patricia is relatable, and Patricia is funny. Her story could be anyone’s, she’s a strong woman who responded to situations she finds herself in in the way myself or any of my friends would. She meets a hot guy in a bar, he’s charming, he likes her, she gets together with him, and it’s not until it’s too late that she realises she’s in trouble. The second time he hit her hurt the worst, she tells us, because the second time he hit her was the first time she realised this wasn’t a one time thing.

But it isn’t only the abusive relationship itself that Patricia tells us about, it’s the way it effects every aspect of a person’s life in so many subtle ways, it’s the way people react when they hear, it’s the questions they ask and the comments they make. “Why did you stay with him so long? Why didn’t you just leave?” in that accusing ‘I would have done better’ way. She reminds us that it isn’t that simple, not when strong emotions like fear, doubt, and love mix together to make a heady concoction of dependence. The script is fantastic, it’s witty, it’s aware, it’s deep, and it deals with a hard subject matter in a real and often humorous way without trivialising it.

There are one or two parts of the play in which we hear Patricia’s side of a two person conversation, we hear her responses to dialogue with her ex boyfriend and her mother, and these are the only moments of the script which don’t work as well. The break from Patricia’s monologue takes us away from unpacking Patricia’s thoughts and almost seems to intrude on the intimate moment we as the audience are sharing with her.

Patricia is played flawlessly by Angelina Chudi – she’s instantly likeable and very relatable, and whilst she opens up and spills her innermost thoughts and feelings it’s difficult not to want to get up and join her on stage, take her hand, help her with her makeup, show her you’re really there for her. She wears her heart on her sleeve and plasters over all the broken bits with bandages of humour, and in those moments, when her doubt and fear get the better of her, it’s all the more heart-wrenching because of it. Most of all Patricia is feisty, she’s a fighter who has battled her way through the front lines of bad relationships and will not be dragged back to that place of torment, she’s a survivor and she will survive.


Patricia Gets Ready (for a Date With the Man Who Used to Hit Her) ~ [The White Bear] ~ Review
★ ★ ★ ★ ☆